It’s Wednesday night. I’m literally sitting here, wondering if I made an epic mistake on our RV choice. I still haven’t seen it yet in person, but my husband has. His words are ringing in my ear, “Whoa, it’s BIG!” And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, keep reading. I will fill you in.
But, I may have overcompensated because of my fear of leaving everything behind, by getting a fifth wheel big enough for a few families to live in…
Our fifth wheel RV is a 41-footer. That’s BIG in RV size. Small if you think of my 2,000 square foot home in a highly desired suburb of Southern California that I live in.
We bought it gently used (at a great price!), but I’m beginning to wonder if this giant thing will be worth the difficulty it takes to drive it and store it anywhere. Oh, for the love! I’m killing myself now as I search online for other RV’s that are smaller and still have what we want and need. And they’re within our budget. Aye-aye-aye. I want to crawl in a hole right now.
We also bought a used 2005 Ford F350 Lariat dually, which looks AMAZING! But, it’s also BIG! Wide, to be precise. And it still needed about $3k+ of additional work done to it even after we bought it (all things the mechanics said are small and not a big issues, but still all those small things add up!) We’ve been told by all the mechanics that we bought a great truck. But, perhaps we didn’t have to go so big with the truck either? Perhaps we should have bought smaller of everything and it would have made this a bit easier? (*sigh) Can you see I’m vacillating back and forth between mania for my choices right now?
So, I press into Jesus in this moment. Asking Him what He has to say to me and my heart about this…
One thing I’m beginning to learn is that at some point, you just have to trust that the majority of decisions you make in life aren’t life or death. Everything is workoutable. If our truck ends up needing more work and costing us more money, so be it. It’s money. We can’t take it with us when we die. Or if we realize the width of the dually is more cumbersome than warranted, we can always sell it and get a different one. If the RV ends up being too big, we can sell it and get a smaller one.
Everything is workoutable. Right?
However, I called my husband in a moment of frantic panic and indecision an hour ago, asking him, “Did we mess up? Are we doing this right? Should we have bought smaller of everything? Are we even doing the right thing?”
He optimistically responded, “It’s a done deal now! There’s no going back. We are just going to keep moving forward. And yes, God is still in this and always will be. He won’t leave us, even if we choose poorly.”
He’s right, you know. No matter what we do or how many bad decisions we make or how things end up, God isn’t going to walk away and say, “Sorry, you’re too far gone now! You’re on your own!”
God will never leave us. He will never leave you.
When Jeff decided to quit his job, it’s almost as if everything started to snowball and come together at a rapid pace, all at the same time. Although things are going at what feels like breakneck speed, everything is also super fluid with our decisions. Like the what, when and where of everything.
For example, at first, we were going to sell our home. Then, we strongly believed we were going to rent it. Now, we are 100% settled on selling it. Honestly, until everything is a done deal, I’m not sure what to say lol! We also thought we would be in an RV for the next year. Now, I think less than 6 months sounds like the better option (LOL!). I mean, honestly I’m just not sure I can live in an RV for that long, while working on my business with three kids and survive. We also had no idea where we were going to move to (hence why the RV living sounded fun for a year so we can travel and visit various places to decide)… until last week! Initially we thought away from Southern California but still stay in the state of California. Now, we are pretty certain we will be moving out of state. In fact, do you want to know where we both feel the most peace about moving to? Boise, Idaho are. Yep! It seems to be calling our name. Crazy how quickly things are changing for us at every minute of every day.
Right now, I’m not the best person to ask for a decision as I have decision fatigue. It’s a real thing I promise you.
Let’s go back to that statement I just made though: Boise, Idaho!
So many things are leading us to this area and state. I’ve visited a few times in both summer and winter. However, I’ve only visited the panhandle in the winter (the coldest part of this state). It’s why originally I had it off the list of possible places to move to. Then, I learned Boise, Idaho winters are more mild (a must have for this California native). And rapidly, after a few google searches, I fell completely head over heels in love with what it has to offer.
In a nutshell, these are the reasons we are considering this move to Boise, Idaho:
- Still close enough to drive to California (9 hours from my parents and 13-14 hour from other places in California where family is that we would want to visit). Yes it’s still a long drive, but it’s doable.
- Streams, rivers, lakes, country-feel. My husband loves to fish and I enjoy the open spaces of the country with mountains for hiking nearby. This is the perfect fit for us.
- Strong family values. To be honest, California has gotten very political in all the wrong ways for us. It’s difficult for me to explain, so let me simply say: the goals for how we want to raise our family is not supported by California laws and politics. Enough said.
- I miss the seasons. Sure, the weather in Southern California is amazing in so many ways! But, I grew up in the Northern parts where seasons were more distinct. I thought I wouldn’t miss it, but I do. And so does my husband. But again, the winters are more mild in the Boise area compared to other parts (average 30’s in the winter with around 2 feet of snow for the season) and I can live with that.
- LOW cost of living. We can buy a beautiful home outright in Boise, meaning we will have NO HOUSE PAYMENT and no debt! AND still have money to spare! Guys, this is a gamechanger!! We will live debt free and with the low cost of living in Idaho, my business can support us without going in the red (especially since my husband quit his job).
- We are tired of the traffic. We are tired of the busy fast paced life down here. We both crave the simpler things of life. I believe Idaho will offer just that.
- It’s still close enough to a major airport and city life, but with a more urban feel.
- Our family goals line up with this place. Adding up all of the above, Boise affords us to have everything we are searching for and all the things we believe God has designed us for.
- Ultimately, we have a deep sense of peace God is leading us to Idaho. There is no other place where we have both clearly felt a peace to move to, except the Boise area of Idaho. Everywhere else felt like we were settling. Or, we would be giving up one or more of the things on our list. So, we will check it out in more detail come September/October, but I have a good sense we will both fall even more in love with it, finalizing our decision.
- Fun fact: our closest friends (also with the last name Swanson) moved from So Cal to Boise a year ago, and they have nothing but raving things to say about it! We can’t wait to visit them in the fall (and quite possibly, be their neighbor!)
For the first time in a long time, there’s a huge weight that’s been lifted from my husband and our home. We feel excited, hopeful, and ready for this change. It’s been brewing in us for many months, even years now as we had a deep sense we would be moving someday. We thought it was going to be two more years, but God always has His ways over ours. And in this case, I’m thankful for His ways above ours as we get to make a change sooner than expected. And in ways even better than anticipated.
Friend, there’s a season for everything. For 12 years, our season was to be in Southern California. It was a good season. I loved it for many years.
But, seasons change. We change. Our priorities can change. And it’s okay to sit down and admit that what you thought you wanted is not what you want anymore. What may have been good for a season is not good for you anymore. This is us (cue Mandy Moore!)
Thankfully, the one thing that doesn’t change is our God. He is the steady heartbeat to all of this. He is our rock and the guiding force behind this. He is the One I believe that is ultimately inviting us to step into this—a different season of life where we will have more of His work to do and community to build in another area. He knows us best and He knew that the timing is now to run after this dream, our calling, and the priorities that we want to cultivate for us and our family.
Now is the time for us to trust and obey what we cannot push away from hearts and minds any longer.